No it’s definitely meddling when you’re 30+ and your mom waltzes into your kitchen and says “Mmmmm are you sure that knife goes in that drawer? And when’s the last time you did the dishes anyway look at this mess”
And then heaven forbid if you have different political views from them, especially in 2020. My mom treats me very weirdly, not because I actually voted for Trump, but because I don't spend my days ranting about how he's Satan incarnate like she does.
My sister aligns politically with my mom and she moved to MONGOLIA to get away from her. I'm glad for people who truly like their families, but not all of us won that particular genetic lottery.
One thing I've learned in my 30s is its not a genetic lottery. There are definitely very irrevocable dynamics but many can be molded with a level of concern, effort and boundary setting that we usually associate with work added with a dash of true sincerity and deep care.
> There are definitely very irrevocable dynamics but many can be molded with a level of concern, effort and boundary setting that we usually associate with work added with a dash of true sincerity and deep care.
I think this largely depends on factors outside our individual control—specifically, the other person. Sometimes setting boundaries, doing the work, can help the other person see the way their behavior is impacting you. Other times, it won't, so if you want the relationship to continue you have to be willing to always and repeatedly do all the work to maintain the relationship. Without the other person being capable and willing to recognize their own issues (and maybe get some therapy), no amount of your own effort can effect a permanent change.
It is both fascinating and sad to watch. My family has split along political lines, with half despising Trump and half worshipping him. Each side hates the other sufficiently that we just avoid talking anymore, so it's like having two distinct families.
I don't know the solution other than everyone agreeing not to talk politics, ever. And even better, actually deciding that politics is pretty insignificant and only something to think about on election day.
> And even better, actually deciding that politics is pretty insignificant
Unless you think civil liberties are at stake. The Supreme Court will be tilted to a way I believe is harmful for my children’s future, and personal health, and so I consider politics to be very significant.
Have I been duped into thinking marijuana has been illegal this whole time? Assisted suicide unavailable? Parental leave / sick leave laws non existent? Access to abortion restricted in some states to sufficiently quality it as inaccessible to those who need it?
Did I imagine growing up without dental care or healthcare because my immigrant small business owner parents could not access affordable healthcare? I personally know small business owners that are open about supporting politicians because they don't want the minimum salary for exempt workers to be raised, so that they can continue to exploit immigrant "managers" to run their businesses and pay them $32k per year to work 60+ hours a week.
These are real matters that have affected me and many others in the country. To say politics isn’t significant is ridiculous.
Politics is the opposite of insignificant, and everything is related to politics, so you're sitting on a ticking time bomb if you're as a group trying to ignore it. Ignoring the pink elephant in the room doesn't make it go away.
politics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles.
My influence on politics is insignificant vs my influence on other things that will impact my quality of life and those around me. In fact, politics and political news are a huge time suck for lots of people. Might as well be playing video games or watching sports.
> politics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles.
That depends on the definition being used [1]. IMO, using this definition of governing [2], governing is taking responsibility, we do it all the time, and it is tough at times.
An example of governing is deciding when to change your baby's diaper. You take responsibility to put in the time and effort (which boils down to money) to keep the baby healthy, proper, and happy.
Brave of you to admit. This community needs to come clean on this, we have so many outspoken, autistic individuals here whose input morphs others' views on what is normal and socially acceptable.
Shrug, honestly I see it as a strength and weakness. Different, not less. Therefore nothing to be ashamed of. In my work, we (employer, co-workers, myself) reap the benefits of my ASD, while we work around the weaknesses.
The point that we are all governing in one way or another, like Greek Gods, still stands.
I don't know how to get there, but we need to somehow reacquire the notion that it's okay to like and interact with someone that you disagree with, politically or otherwise.
Politics has the potential to impact every single area of your life. Your assets, your livelihood, even your life can potentially be taken away at the stroke of the legislator's pen, and this will be enforced by an apparatus that has been funded by your taxes, paid upon pain of imprisonment. We have been living through a period of relative political stability under governments that have tended to respect people's inalienable rights.
No matter who wins the election, we are likely to see half of the USA saying "not my president".
We need the families to be stronger.
We need more patience for things we disagree with.
We need to love and enjoy those who we disagree with. To have deep conversations that help others better understand different points of view. That's how real change could actually happen, instead of tribalism and every four years a new political party removes all the progress from the previous four years - so that nothing truly changes
