This is a difficult discussion to have without examples. I've given up plenty of values from when I was a teenager. It wasn't because of weak willpower, it was because I eventually realized those values were silly.

Another thing that comes to mind; "a plan never survives first contact with the enemy". Values/morals like to be black & white, but the world is grey.

Edit: I had no problem with your original comment, and as it was still positive I doubt many people had a problem with it at all. I see, what, all of 1-2 mildly negative replies? Don't needlessly play the victim, it is unseemly.

This is not a completely unique situation, but it can feel very unique. I suppose it's like being gay or something, in that, until you realize there are others like you, you feel like there is nobody like you.

For me, I have similar difficulty with observing relationships, whether love, marriage, business, or other. I see people getting into relationships and thinking, "What the heck are they thinking, can't they see what's going to happen a mile away?" But when someone gets hitched in one of these relationships, whether dating, marriage, or business, how can you say anything other than congratulations without everyone labeling you a total jerk? And because I go overboard thinking of all those things from a mile away, I usually take very few risks in relationships at all (again, all encompassing including love and business). http://xkcd.com/439/

Delayed gratification is often cited as an important variable for predicting future success of people. That in turn speaks to level of willpower. I am not saying I am good at it, as I know I am not (though it's quite easy for me to avoid stupid relationship decisions).

Having good willpower and good delayed gratification capability is supposed to be good for one's future. Just make sure that you don't let the good quality of willpower enable you to rationalize yourself into being gunshy so that you don't do anything at all. I am still learning that.

I realize that having willpower to keep your integrity and avoiding risks are two subjects not necessarily related. So sorry if I made the turn go even farther off-road.

Wow, you are so special.

Edit: I think you took it down for your own sake, not ours.

You're not the friendliest person around. Do you delight in making me feel bad?

How am I making you feel bad? By pointing out that you have an inflated self perception? And if you disagree with that, then maybe you should have kept your original post up.

Just continue teaching people, like you are doing now.

Actually, I was trying to be sincere -- our actions have consequences on other people and the world at large.

The flip side is that we become observers when we don't take any action in fear of affecting the world.

Other times, we may think that there may be a certain consequence, but the actual outcome ends up being considerably different.

Reference experience becomes important at some point -- it ensures that we take action, make mistakes, set boundaries, and live in the world.

You come off intelligent and thoughtful. I'm not sure where you are located but I'd love to connect with you. I'm Sarkis -- skarayan@gmail.com

"If I sound condescending, it's because you just didn't understand what I was trying to say"

wow.