Am I just too old for HN now?

I can understand calling something that holds your data and makes it so you don't have to do JOINs a database.

I can understand calling something that holds your data and does JOINs for you a database.

I'm having trouble calling something that holds my data and makes it so I have to "JOIN in my application" anything but a file system.

I don't know, what is the definition of a database? I'd be surprised if it mandated joins.

Actually, if you speak to them, they do claim that. Then they backtrack when you call them on it, but I've heard guys from 10gen as they were known then claim their product was a drop-in replacement for Oracle.

Hearsay and strawman arguments don't make for an intellectual discussion.