You can use me as an example! When I got diagnosed I was very physically active and also quite clean.

One of the hardest things for me with depression is the incredible guilt I have. What right do I have to be depressed when my life is objectively fine? Why should I get therapy when that might mean one less space for someone who is dealing with trauma or poverty or something else that gives them a "right" to be depressed? This causes a feedback loop of guilt leading to more depression and vice-versa.

Like I tell my kids, it's normal to sometimes feel depressed or hopeless. If you're dealing with a difficult circumstance then it's reasonable to have those feelings, and the only way to address those feelings is to deal with the circumstance. What's not normal is feeling depressed and hopeless for no logical reason at all.

I appreciate your sharing your experience. I think it's very valuable that human beings describe to each other their decision making, actions, and outcomes. Often, people attempt to dissuade the sharing of information, and I think that leads to us, as humans, being less able to form an accurate model of the world. I appreciate your pushing through that form of opposition.

It’s pretty tough to exercise or clean your house when getting out of bed feels like an insurmountable task.

Depression isn’t like an infection or cancer—it’s a diagnosis based on established criteria, as are most mental disorders. Experts may disagree on diagnosis or treatment, but that doesn’t make it useless.

By that logic, you might as well say autism is caused by avoiding eye contact—since there’s no blood test for it either.

I'm autistic by some measure. Eye contact is uncomfortable but I push myself. I avoid it most of the time but yet play the game and do my best.

I'm finally at the point where I'll keep eye contact until I've completed the social requirement.

Ahhh this explains a lot. You should learn about internalized ablism, and probably stop teaching vulnerable humans the same, under the guise of "emotional regulation".

Did somebody else tell you that your emotions need to be regulated this strictly? Did you learn that if you express your emotions you won't get any help? That is not a normal situation to be in.

Good luck and please be kinder to yourself.

I understand, but I can assure you that I don’t expect an autistic person to force eye contact with me—especially when it drains their energy. Insisting on that would be wrong.

I’m not opposed to people pushing themselves a little, but we can’t expect anyone to become “fixed” by trying ever harder. That approach wastes energy, is unrealistic, is non‑inclusive, and is simply cruel.

If you think people with depression, ADHD, or anxiety should just push through their symptoms to meet arbitrary social expectations—expectations that are fundamentally ableist—you’re not doing anyone a favor. In a world that’s becoming less ignorant and more inclusive of neurological differences, that attitude will only alienate you, as this thread clearly shows.

> In a world that’s becoming less ignorant and more inclusive of neurological differences, that attitude will only alienate you, as this thread clearly shows.

What an off-topic threat to try and get someone to pretend like they agree with you.

This is a pretty nasty line to double down on.

I hope you can take your personal anecdotes and add them to a larger body of research and other people's experience to refine your understanding. If you're right that everyone who has Depression is actually just lazy, you'll see lots of support for that. If, instead, you find a lot of different experiences you might conclude that Depression is a pretty nuanced and complicated topic, which might both expand your understanding and help you bring more empathy to the suffering people around you.

I know several depressed people that exercise every day and live in a clean house.

That's unfortunate. Ask they why they are depressed and see if there is any way to fix it.

What people are trying to tell you is that in the case of clinical depression there isn't an easy fix because it's not caused by anything external.

I have a very good support system in my life. If it was possible for a friend to come along and just fix it then I wouldn't have depression.

You think they don't ask themselves that question all day, every day?

reddit.com/r/thanksimcured

You are very, very extremely inexperienced in this area, as anyone who deals with or has someone in their close family that deals with serious, life-threatening depression will tell you.

And that's okay!

I would encourage you to look at the number of comments from different people who have a history of dealing with this kind of thing for a long time.

I'm reading them. What responsibility does an individual have over their situation.

ADHD and some types of Depression are developmental / environmental.

You're asking a person missing a leg to "just run, bro".

Black swans do not exist. I have never seen one.

It's almost as if depression reduces your executive function, making it more difficult to exercise each day or consistently clean your house.

And then you feel worthless for not being able to do those things, reinforcing the depression.

"If you have executive dysfunction, just discipline through it" is definitely a take.

This person just does not understand.

you have the causality reversed....

Go on

WTF? You cannot comment like this on HN, no matter what you're replying to or how wrong you think they are. We've had to ask you before to avoid abusive comments. We have to ban accounts to do this repeatedly, and it's only because the parent comment was pretty bad too that I'm not banning you this time. Please take a moment to remind yourself of the guidelines and avoid ever commenting like this again if you want to keep participating here. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html