Can I send money to someone else and then have them pay? Example: etsy knows who I am but maybe every individual store does not? Similarly patreon knows who I am but each person I'm supporting does not? How about only fans?

It's not you transferring money, it is Etsy, Patreon,.. they have to know recipient.

Unless you are allowing 6-digit fraudulent payments, as documented in this other thread currently on page 2.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44377104

Funny how all these rules and privacy violations fall apart when you start paying cash.

They don't. Start doing a lot of activity in cash, and the banks file a report on that too. It's called a Currency Transaction Report. They may not be able to find you as easily, but they can create a link between you and being an individual with an unusual predilection toward doing economic activity in cash.

Let them have that then. Better than seeing my merchant history.

In this hypothetical scenario, we know the recipient, just not the sender.