The EU should do what does best: make things boring.

If retaliatory tariffs is the way to go, maybe do it the boring way: considered bit by bit, no flashy announcement.

Or just make a 10 year deal on LNG so Trump can say we're paying the US money every year.

I'm pretty mad a the US for fucking up the entire world right now, but I also realise that acting on that anger is a bad idea. I appreciate the EU having some long discussions while the emotions fade.

Exactly, the absolute best thing the EU could do right now is project stability

EU already had 10% tariffs on all US autos. (Though tbf most other things were near zero.)