ISP Support: Hi do you have a dial tone?
Me: No we don't have a land line phone at all and haven't for years
ISP Support: Can you please check your land line phone and let me know if you have a dial tone?
Me: I. HAVE. LINE. SYNC.
ISP Support: Yes but your line might not be connected yet. I need to know if you have a dial tone.
Me: ...
Me: drives 5km to the nearest shop that sells telephone handsets
Me: <twhoo hoours layter> YES. WE. HAVE. A. DIAL. TONE.
ISP Support: Okay so it looks like there's an outage in your area which is affecting your connection.
ISP Support: Hi do you have a dial tone?
Me: No we don't have a land line phone at all and haven't for years
ISP Support: Can you please check your land line phone and let me know if you have a dial tone?
Me: I. HAVE. LINE. SYNC.
ISP Support: Yes but your line might not be connected yet. I need to know if you have a dial tone.
Me: ...
Me: drives 5km to the nearest shop that sells telephone handsets
Me: <twhoo hoours layter> YES. WE. HAVE. A. DIAL. TONE.
ISP Support: Okay so it looks like there's an outage in your area which is affecting your connection.