Maybe it didn't change my mind about "everything," but it did change my mind about everything related to negotiating.
The premise is that "no," is not an answer to be feared and avoided - it's an answer to be sought out. Getting a "no" is a key part of understanding the other side's position.
Many of the techniques he teaches can be used in non-negotiation settings.
For example, consider the seemingly simple problem of asking good questions. The author advocates interrogative-led questions over leading questions:
- interrogative led: begins with "who," "where," "what," "when," and "why."
- leading: binary answer, and usually begins with "do" or "does"
Consider the difference between the answers you're likely to get by asking "Did you like the movie?" vs. "What did you think of the movie?"
When you ask someone an interrogative-led question, you acknowledge their agency and challenge them to think. When you ask a leading question, more often than not, you're trying to manipulate the other person. Worse, you will get much less helpful answers.
Works great for job interviews, and many other professional settings.
One oddity: I've seen interviews/presentations with author, but he's a surprisingly bad speaker. As a how-to writer he's one of the best I've read.
Maybe it didn't change my mind about "everything," but it did change my mind about everything related to negotiating.
The premise is that "no," is not an answer to be feared and avoided - it's an answer to be sought out. Getting a "no" is a key part of understanding the other side's position.
Many of the techniques he teaches can be used in non-negotiation settings.
For example, consider the seemingly simple problem of asking good questions. The author advocates interrogative-led questions over leading questions:
- interrogative led: begins with "who," "where," "what," "when," and "why."
- leading: binary answer, and usually begins with "do" or "does"
Consider the difference between the answers you're likely to get by asking "Did you like the movie?" vs. "What did you think of the movie?"
When you ask someone an interrogative-led question, you acknowledge their agency and challenge them to think. When you ask a leading question, more often than not, you're trying to manipulate the other person. Worse, you will get much less helpful answers.
Works great for job interviews, and many other professional settings.
One oddity: I've seen interviews/presentations with author, but he's a surprisingly bad speaker. As a how-to writer he's one of the best I've read.