> 1. Recognize when their automatic responses might get them into trouble,
> 2. Slow down in those situations and behave less automatically,
> 3. Objectively assess situations and think about what response is called-for.
Some martial arts training teaches that. The more defensive martial arts, such as aikido, focus on that. Training in a defensive martial art might help impulsive kids. It teaches them that lashing out blindly is a quick way to lose, and that there are much more effective responses to an attack.
This is a lot like the SAFE technique for crisis management. I was taught it in the context of wilderness survival (particularly when you get lost), and apparently it comes from kayaking.
1. Stop
2. Assess the situation
3. Formulate a plan
4. Execute
Repeat steps 2-4 as you progress. (I guess you could make it SAFER, and make R for Repeat).
I've found it very useful for general crisis management, especially for physical crises. Just forcing yourself through the steps makes you think of better options, rather than running off and making the problem worse.
I don't think it's such a good pattern for long term problems though, the idea is that you're reacting to your immediate situation and dealing accordingly, so it's effective for events that need immediate attention, such as car crashes, first aid situations, or getting lost in the wilderness.
> Recognize when their automatic responses might get them into trouble
How? Ok, if I set my mind to it I'm probably ok for 5 minutes or so until pure instinct sets in again....how to keep self-monitoring one's mood indefinitely?
> 2. Slow down in those situations and behave less automatically,
> 3. Objectively assess situations and think about what response is called-for.
I recently realized I have insecure attachment and have been working on overcoming it. The process I use is somewhat similar:
1. Recognize when you feel anxious or insecure.
2. Ask yourself what is causing it.
3. Either fix it or accept it.